Of course size matters! And it likely matters a lot less than you might think.

Let’s look at the obvious first. Some dude who is a real jerk with a big wonker is not going to get very far. And at the other end, a guy with a small tool who has a bright personality, a positive self-image, knows how to pleasure a woman, and is a great romantic is going to have no problem finding a lover.

Consider also that many woman (and some men) have been abused or threatened by someone’s penis as a child. And to a child, most any penis looks big. Many who have been through this trauma will have conscious or unconscious fear of a large wand (my preferred term). And this is not the kind of thing you can know just by looking at someone. So you could find yourself in bed with a lover who is actually happy if size is not your greatest attribute.

If you survey women of all sizes, shapes, colors, and ages about the importance of penis size, you will almost certainly find there is a wide range of opinions. [This can be an intriguing conversation starter, by the way] Some will say that in general they prefer a larger one to a smaller, but others definitely prefer a smaller size. And there are women at the extreme of both ends – those who will only sleep with a well endowed partner and those who would never sleep with a well endowed partner.

A British university study reported in an article on the U.K.’s national health website showed that “a much higher percentage of women (85%) were satisfied with their partner’s penis size than the percentage of men (55%) who were satisfied with their own penis size.” And a large survey reported in an article in Psychology Today confirmed that 84% of women think that the size of their man’s penis is just fine, and that “women were only half as likely as men to call their man’s penis ‘small,’ and were more likely to call it ‘large.'” This second article also has great information based on two dozen studies on the average size of the penis.

Most women feel it’s not the size that matters, it’s how you use it!!!

Now there’s a very deceptive trick of nature that needs to be talked about in this crucial matter. Your wand is very likely bigger than you might think. How can that be? Well, most of us form our opinion by looking down. Yet any guy who looks down at his precious piece from above is looking at it from a very skewed angle. And from that angle (head looking down at it from the top), it looks considerably smaller than it really is.

Don’t believe me? When you get a private moment, find a wall mirror, drop your pants and take a look. The mirror in your bathroom will do just fine. First look straight down and see how your wand looks. Now take a look again at the size in the mirror. Do you notice that it looks a hell of a lot bigger? What a rotten trick nature plays on us! Almost all men think they are smaller than they really are because of this. It’s all a mirror game!

So when you look out at all those guys in the locker room and compare yourself, it’s like looking in the mirror. You see all these big cocks. Then you look down at your own and feel like you don’t measure up. It’s not true! And remember that when others look at you, what they see is like what you see in the mirror.

Now that we’ve revealed this nasty trick of nature, let’s talk about your thoughts and feelings about your penis. The way you think and feel about your wand has a bigger impact than it’s size does. If you are ashamed or embarrassed about it, your partner will likely pick up on that and respond to your feelings of inadequacy more than to the size of your tool. If you are confident and love yourself and your member – no matter what its size – you are much more likely to spark love and desire in your partner.

Set a clear intention to accept as fully as you can whatever you’ve got and to developing a loving, supportive relationship with your wand, as well as with your entire body and all its parts. If you don’t believe this is possible, watch this video of a man who profoundly inspires others to love themselves, no matter what their body is like. And be prepared to shocked and then deeply impressed with the way this courageous man loves himself.

Something else to consider is that the clitoris of a woman contains far more nerve endings (about 8,000) than her entire vagina. In fact, the clitoris has been shown to have more nerve endings than the glans of the penis. So if you understand how to take a woman to ecstasy with her clitoris (start with VERY soft and VERY slow), she will likely fall in love with you no matter what your size. By the way, not many women experience vaginal orgasms (estimates show around 30%), while most need clitoral stimulation in order to reach climax.

Here’s a revealing quote along these line from the Wikipedia entry on vaginas: “The concentration of the nerve endings near the entrance of the vagina (the lower third) usually provide pleasurable vaginal sensations when stimulated during sexual activity. The vagina as a whole, however, lacks nerve endings, which commonly hinders a woman’s ability to receive sufficient sexual stimulation, including orgasm, solely from penetration of the vagina.” As most of the sensation is found near the vaginal entrance, we find once again that penis size is not that important.

Consider also that no matter what your size, if you manage to develop control over your ejaculation, your partner is much more likely to be happy and keep coming back for more. And anyone can gain control if they are willing to make the effort. Check out our ideas on developing this vital skill at this link.

So guys, don’t get all hung up on the belief that you are not big enough. You may be bigger than you think, and by developing a more positive attitude about yourself and your beautiful wand, you are certain to have a richer and more satisfying sex life.

Take Action Now!

  • Talk with your spouse, your partner, or even with a good friend about penis size and what it means to you. Use this essay as a starting point to explore how this sensitive issue has impacted your life and the lives of others.
  • Read a great article in the U.K.’s respected Guardian titled “Me and my penis: 100 men reveal all.” These men share with wonderful vulnerability about their lives through the lens of their penis.
  • Open to the wisdom of a great online lesson titled “Sacred Sexuality” on this webpage. A list at the end of the lesson provides more excellent resources on the topic.
  • Consider inviting a small group of trusted friends to have a regular discussion group where you talk about sex and intimacy, including topics like penis size. Explore together how we can all support each other in having more vibrant and passionate sex lives that enhance our relationships.

Written by the founder of this website