Fred Burks is an intrepid explorer unafraid to ask challenging questions which invite him and others to learn and grow. He’s also a guy who is lucky to feel very comfortable in his sexuality. He has taught tantra and sexual healing at a variety of places throughout the US.
Fred has had a rather unusual sexual journey. It has not always been easy. Coming from a spiritual family with a father who was a Methodist minister, Fred choose not to jump into sex at a young age. He was 27 years old by the time he finally lost his virginity. Yet this allowed him to have less attachment to sex, and to observe and learn from the many challenges faced by those who were much more sexual than himself.
Once he finally opened to being full-on sexual, Fred’s once harmonious relationship life suddenly changed. A series of relationships came to a crashing end with a lot of drama that left him quite confused. He couldn’t understand why making love could cause things to get so crazy.
So in 1995 at age 37, Fred chose to abstain from sex for a year and dove deep into a personal exploration of his life and sexuality. Eventually, he was excited to uncover two aspects of himself that were in conflict — one he named monk self and the other horny self. In this essay, he describes how inviting these two antagonistic aspects for the first time to work in concert with each other transformed his sex life in a profound way.
Not long after this, Fred attended his first tantra workshop with Charles and Caroline Muir. He was a quick study. By 1998, he became one of the core founders of Sacred Connections, an invitation-only sacred sexuality community in the San Francisco area. He was one of the main leaders of this loving community for its first several years. Since then, in addition to founding this website, Fred has written a guide for creating successful sacred sexuality events and led many related workshops on the west coast and a few on the east coast of the U.S.
In person, in groups, and sometimes even in the workshops he leads, Fred is unafraid to broach taboo topics such as sexual desire and how it expresses in men and women, the power of orgasm, penis size, and the perpetrator in all of us.
By shining light into these sometimes painfully sensitive topics and bringing them out of the shadows, Fred has helped many people to transform their lives. Many have released deeply held shame, anxiety, and much more as they’ve healed old sexual wounds and learned more to accept and love themselves.
In other fields, Fred has spent a total of five years traveling the world and living in other countries. He served as an Indonesian language interpreter for the U.S. Department of State for 18 years and worked as a nurse for 10 years, largely in the fields of hospice and mental health.
Fred is also currently the executive director of PEERS, an educational nonprofit focused on cultivating community and transformation. He is deeply committed to living in service and to personal and global transformation through love and empowerment.
Fred takes great satisfaction out of sharing all that he’s learned with any interested.