Sexual orgasm is the most intense physical pleasure that most of us ever experience. Yet open talk of the power of orgasm is all but taboo in today’s world. No wonder our culture is so obsessed with sex!
For caring couples who bring each other into ecstatic orgasm, this huge wave of bliss can bring unbelievable heights of love and connection that are truly profound. Yet unbridled desire for sex and orgasm is also the source of tremendous pain and suffering in our world.
The power of sexual orgasm is an unstoppable force of nature that plays an absolutely vital role in life on Earth. None of us would be here if our parents didn’t surrender to this incredible state of ecstasy. The orgasm and ejaculation of our father as he penetrated our mother in one magical moment of sexual union is what started the dance of the sperm and egg that ended up literally birthing the bodies we now inhabit. This sexual act quite literally is what keeps humanity going from generation to generation.
The primal urge to merge also keeps us from becoming hermits. It causes us to seek out a partner and is the driving force a lot of human behavior. The sex industry rakes in countless billions of dollars by feeding on the sexual hunger and addictions so many experience. Movies, TV shows, and advertisements use sexual seduction to feed on our desire for sex and orgasm. The ubiquitous fleshy images they flash at us grab our attention and manipulate our behavior whether we like it or not.
Yet just imagine if everyone in the world had a fabulous partner with whom they were getting great, regular sex with outrageously delicious orgasms. With our sex and love needs satisfied, who would want to go to war?
Notice, too, what happens when a man or woman with strong sex appeal arrives on the scene. A man with a confident, seductive air can arouse powerful hormones in those around him. A woman who exudes incredible sex appeal can stir up an entire room of people simply by the way she moves her hips. And once the hormones of sexual desire start pulsing in our veins, the rational mind often shuts down as animalistic instincts kick in.
Surging hormones and the seductive power of orgasm can cause people to do crazy things. There are those who will lie, cheat, pay lots of money, and even commit rape to satisfy the craving for this most intense pleasure. Some torn souls stay in incredibly abusive relationships because the sexual connection has become an intense addiction that they won’t give up even when they are being abused.
Even individuals who are normally caring and conscious can do very unconscious things when in pursuit of the seductive orgasmic connection. Think of all the crazy sex abuse scandals reported in the news involving the Catholic church, evangelist preachers, Hollywood, the military, and more.
Men who have a small penis or erectile dysfunction often carry a deep, hidden wound which makes it more difficult for them to find a partner to share in the bliss of orgasm. Women who can’t achieve orgasm may experience themselves as cold or frigid sexually. This can affect their personality in a way that even their non-sexual behavior becomes cold and frigid. Sexual dysfunction and inability to share the bliss of orgasm with a partner can be an unbearable burden that has a devastating impact on the emotional lives of many in our world.
On the other hand, orgasm that is the result of connection with a warm, loving partner can be incredibly healing and exciting. Those who have experienced past sexual trauma or abuse can find themselves being transformed by a caring lover who is sensitive to their emotional needs and stays conscious during love making. The intense pleasure and joy of orgasm reached with a beloved can literally bring heaven down to Earth.
Clearly orgasm is a potent force in our lives which has the potential to bring great pleasure or great pain. Yet how often do we talk about all this? How often have you talked with others about this powerful source of pleasure in your life? Have you ever confided in others your joys and challenges around sexuality? For all that sexual union and orgasm bring us some of the most intense pleasure that we ever experience, discussion of orgasm and even conscious talk about sexuality can seem almost too scary or too sacred to talk about openly.
Let’s change that! By breaking the taboo and engaging in open discussions on the power of sexuality and orgasm in our lives and world, we can relieve unspoken tensions and explore new pathways to profound connection. Lifting the veil on sexuality can even help us to become more caring, compassionate people who experience more joy and passion in our sexual connections.
Sharing openly the joys and challenges of this most primal topic can eventually foster a much deeper level of self acceptance and self love. This not only empowers us to have a more healthy sexuality and richer relationships, it also allows us move with more caring, joy, and passion in our lives in general.
Particularly as we surf the sometimes intense waves of relationship and sexual desire in our lives, let’s talk about this. Let’s talk about sex. Openly. With lots of people. With full respect and consciousness. And with an underlying desire to better understand who we are as sexual beings and to become ever more caring, conscious, and compassionate people. Let’s talk about all aspects of sex and the pursuit of orgasmic bliss.
Somehow I don’t think we’ll get bored with this one. We might even have fun and learn and even grow a lot while we’re at it!
Take Action Now!
- Talk with your spouse, your partner, or even with a good friend about orgasm and sexuality. Use this essay as a starting point to share both the joys and the challenges you face in your sex life. Take a risk and see if this doesn’t relieve some of the tension and frustration so many feel. Explore other pages on this website for conversation ideas.
- Read great books on sexuality and orgasm. Share these with people in your life to get the conversation going about creating a more healthy sex life. Consider books like Margot Anand’s Art of Sexual Ecstasy, Sheri Winston’s Women’s Anatomy of Arousal, and Steve and Vera Bodanski’s Illustrated Guide to Extended Massive Orgasm.
- Open to the wisdom of a great online lesson titled “Sacred Sexuality” on this webpage. A list at the end of the lesson provides more excellent resources on the topic.
- Explore workshops and communities involved in tantra or sacred sexuality. Check out HAI (Human Awareness Institute – www.hai.org) and tantra workshops which can powerfully heal sexual wounds and transform your life.
- Consider inviting a small group of trusted friends to have a regular discussion group where you talk about sex and intimacy. Explore together how we can all support each other in having more vibrant and passionate sex lives that enhance our relationships.
Written by the founder of this website